Hi guys! Long time no see!
Sorry for the long break! Past couple of weeks have been busy, busy, busy! But a lot happened in the past week that I have to tell you guys, and I will break it up into a few posts so it’s not overwhelming!
As a lot of you know, this past week Andrew and I were headed to Disney World for the marathon weekend. I was signed up for the Dopey Challenge (5k, 10k, 1/2 marathon, marathon) and Andrew was signed up for the Goofy Challenge (1/2 marathon, marathon). As you’ll see, things didn’t go quite as planned, but it was still a wonderful weekend!
We left for Disney at 5:30 in the morning on Wednesday. It always surprises me how busy the SeaTac airport is even early in the morning. But it was a smooth process to get through security and to our gate. The flights went quickly for me as I slept the majority of the time, and we got into Orlando at 4:25 pm.
One wonderful thing about staying on Disney property is how smoothly everything runs and how easy they make it to get around. We went straight to Mickey’s Magical Express bus which got us to our resort in about 45 minutes. For this race-cation we stayed in Disney’s All-Star Sports Resort, which is one of the lower-budget resorts. It was totally fine, especially since we didn’t spend too much time in the rooms, but Andrew and I will definitely stay at a nicer resort for our honeymoon!
We had to rush right from the hotel over to the race expo, since my first race was the next morning. We got right on the shuttle over to ESPN Wide World of Sports and went through the packet pick-up process. For the Dopey Challenge, they gave me six race shirts, one for each race, one for Goofy, and one for Dopey. Since this is not my first Disney race and we’re saving money for the wedding, I didn’t get any extra shirts or jackets, but I did get a Dopey headband from the official merchandise tent. The expo is always crowded, but the organization of the volunteers gets you in and out quickly. We had a reservation at Boma restaurant at Animal Kingdom Lodge for dinner, so we went straight from the expo over to eat.
Now Boma is a unique African buffet restaurant, and the food is absolutely fabulous, so the place is always jam packed. Our reservation was at 8:15 but we didn’t end up getting seated until 8:45! Totally worth it though. There wasn’t a single thing I ate that wasn’t totally worth it. Here’s a picture of my first plate, but I did end up getting seconds!
Some of the things I ate: prime rib, fried plaintains, sweet potato mash, curried pasta salad, lentil and goat cheese salad, spinach and corn pudding, white grits, and cornbread. After a long day of traveling, this dinner hit the spot!
After dinner, we tried to head straight back to the hotel, but through a series of unfortunate events and bus mixups, we didn’t end up getting back until 10:30! I knew the next morning was going to be an early one, so we headed right to bed!
My alarm went off at 3:30 to start getting ready for the WDW 5k. The last shuttle bus leaves the hotel at 4:30 and I know from experience that you don’t want to be on the last bus. So I planned to go out around 4:10. I slowly got ready, pinned my Dopey bib on, and Andrew and I went out to the shuttle. We got to the race site around 4:40 and the race doesn’t start until 6:00, so it was quite a lot of sitting here around and waiting. Luckily, there’s always a fun DJ keeping the energy high and tons of awesome costumes to look at, so time goes by fairly quickly.
At around 5:30, people started getting into their corrals. Corrals for the 5k and 10k were A-F and I was in D, so luckily I didn’t have to wait to the very end to start. Once your corral starts moving up to the start line, it’s so exciting! And when Rudy says, “Runners! Set! Goooooo!” it’s hard not to get caught up and jet right out!
But I knew I had a lot of running left to do this week (or so I thought), so I took the first mile very very easy. Andrew was waiting around the first turn, cheering for me, so I ran over and gave him a big kiss! Once I got to mile 1, I decided to walk for a while and take in the beautiful sights.
The 5k went around the Epcot world showcase and there were some absolutely gorgeous views!
I also had some great character sightings!
I walked when I wanted to, ran when I felt like it, and before I knew it, I was next to the giant ball in Epcot at mile 3!
There’s nothing like crossing a Disney finish line! And this time they had metal medals instead of rubber!
After the race, we caught the shuttle bus back to the hotel to sleep for a while! We ended up sleeping until around 10:30 and then heading over to Magic Kingdom, which was still decorated for Christmas!
Our first fast pass was for Peter Pan’s Flight, which was fun. It was a slower ride, and probably not one I would do again, but it was a good one to do once, a classic ride, and a nice introduction to the rest of the fun planned that day.
We walked around in Frontier Land for a while, checking out some souvenir shops and killing time until our next fast pass, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. This one was perfect for me! Fast and fun but not overly scary. I can be a wimp when it comes to intense roller coasters, but Thunder Mountain is one I will be doing again!
After Thunder Mountain, we were getting hungry and thirsty, so we stopped into a little place in Frontier Land and got beef nachos to share. I also grabbed a slushy strawberry lemonade which was not only completely refreshing, but adorable!
When we had finished eating, I used my Disney app to check out close rides and saw that the carousel only had a ten minute wait. I have always had a soft spot for carousels, so we hopped in line and were climbing aboard our steeds in a few rotations of the ride!
Since we still had a while until our last fast pass, Space Mountain, we decided to hop over to the Monsters, Inc Laugh Floor, which is a fun improv comedy show performed by some very funny monsters! They pick people out of the audience to tease, all in good fun, and it was quite funny. It’s something I would definitely do on a return trip!
Andrew needed a snack, so I grabbed a Diet Coke and he got a cream cheese stuffed pretzel. I snuck a few bites and it was delicious! Kind of like a danish inside a pretzel. Yummmmm!
With our snack devoured, we headed to Space Mountain, Andrew very excitedly, me with much trepidation. I was sooooo nervous! Andrew kept reassuring me it would be fun, but my heart was beating out of my chest!
As soon as the ride started, I screamed my head off and didn’t stop until it did! In our ride pictures, I’m gripping the lap bar and very obviously screaming! It was very fun though, and I would absolutely do it again! I screamed so much that the guy in front of me turned around at the end like, what the heck? I was beet red!
Since we had woken up so early that morning and had another early start the next morning, we decided to start heading back towards the hotel. Not before we caught the end of a performance in front of the castle and grabbed a delicious cake pop, though!
All in all, it was a fabulous day!
Next post: the 10k recap and Animal Kingdom!
I thought I’d do a quick post on what’s happening in my fitness world this week. I’ve been upping the cardio quite a bit to try and drop some of the weight that has been piling itself on since Andrew and I started dating. I definitely want to continue strength training, but losing some of the weight so that I can fit and look good in my wedding dress is the priority right now. And so far I’ve lost four pounds! I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I can already see it in my face and how my clothes fit. It’s a sigh of relief, to be quite honest.
So onto the workouts!
As I’ve told Andrew, I’m just feeling good. I think with gaining over thirty pounds I was really starting to feel sluggish. Even though I’m tall (almost 5’11”!), thirty pounds is a heck of a lot to gain. My clothes started fitting funny or not fitting at all, and I’m really looking forward to getting back into some of my favorite jeans and cute dresses. Plus, I just keep thinking about my wedding dress and how I want to look and feel on my wedding day.
I know that Andrew is concerned that losing weight will trigger my ED. But I’m trying to be careful and resist any bingeing urges so that purging is not even an option. And honestly, after this year, I will be happy to eat a little bit more than I’m eating right now. I already swore to Andrew that on our honeymoon (to Disney World!!!) I will really relax and let myself eat and enjoy with no guilt, worries, or weight-talk. But for now, I just want to feel better and I know I will feel more comfortable and confident in my body if I just drop some pounds.
My goal is between 25 and 30 pounds but I never know what’s gonna happen with my body and metabolism and the scale. It’s unpredictable. So I’m going to try and be nice to myself and relaxed through this process. Anyone who knows me knows this will be difficult, but luckily I’ve got my love to help and support me with his calm and laid back personality. It’ll be interesting if nothing else!
Hope you have a great Thursday!
It’s been a while! That’s completely my fault. Andrew and I have definitely been busy, but during this holiday time I just wanted to take some time to slow down, relax with my family, and consider where I want to go with the blog.
Now of course, fitness, health, and weight loss have all been extremely important parts of my life and will continue to be, in addition to eating disorder recovery. But my life is also much more than that, and I started the blog to be a lifestyle blog, not just a fitness blog. So I think I want to branch out and do a wider variety of posts. I tried to step out a bit with my top 5 winter skincare products, and I liked the way that post turned out, so I will continue to write what feels good and right at the time. Hopefully you will enjoy reading it!
Because it’s been a while since I posted, I figured I would catch you up on what’s been happening in Andrew’s and my life recently.
[gratuitous and adorable cat and dachshund snuggle shot]
Last week was a busy and hard week before Christmas. I had a couple of difficult situations at work that I was dealing with, so a night out with two of my bridesmaids was much needed! We went Wednesday night to a local place called Grapes and Crepes, which I highly recommend! I had a couple of glasses of Riesling, which is one of my favorite kinds of wine!
We talked and talked and ended up closing the place down at 9:00 after catching up for three hours! My sweet maids gave me a fun bachelorette dice game and I was able to give them their bridesmaid “proposal” boxes. Here’s a pic of the outside of one, but I don’t want to post the inside since two of my bridesmaids haven’t received theirs yet:
I can’t wait to get everyone together before the wedding! I have such wonderful, awesome people as bridesmaids.
Then on Friday, Andrew, my mother, my brothers, and I drove to Yakima to eat lunch together at Applebee’s. I have to say that the food was not great, but it was nice to eat lunch with my family. After lunch my mom took me to Ulta and I shopped my little heart out, snagging two Peter Thomas Roth face masks that I’ve been coveting for a while: the Irish moor mud mask and the pumpkin enzyme mask. PS: the pumpkin mask smells like straight up pumpkin pie and worked wonders on my skin, helping clear some of the dry patches and texture after just one use! Love!
Then my mom and I drove to a place called JS Nails to get our nails done, which I was super excited about. My nails have been very fragile and splitty lately, so getting them done was a treat. I chose purple and gold for the playoff game on December 31st between Alabama and UW. Go Huskies!!
Sunday was Christmas of course, and it was a nice, relaxing holiday with the family. We ate homemade breakfast casserole and opened presents. My mom gave me some fun things including a Betty Crocker original reproduction cookbook with favorite recipes highlighted and kitchen chopping shears!
My fitness was so-so this week. I only ended up going to the gym three times, but I made sure to get a nice sweaty half-hour on the bike on Christmas Eve before the indulgence of the next day!
Last week ended up being wonderful, although the slightest bit stressful. Aren’t the holidays always a bit stressful?
Things I’m looking forward to this week: the playoff game, New Years Eve, seeing my other two bridesmaids, and just hanging out with my fiancé! I’ll be sure to pop in for a few more posts. Have a great day!
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I am a certified skincare and makeup addict! If y’all could see my makeup collection, there would be a few raised eyebrows!
For me, playing with makeup is something that is both fun and a creative outlet. I love trying out new eye shadows or lip colors. Sometimes I go for a more natural look, and sometimes more dramatic!
(This was a sunset look that I did for a visit to a tea house in Nashville with my mom)
But in order for makeup to go on smoothly and for you to look your best, you have to start with a decent canvas! That means taking care of your skin.
Winter can be a difficult time for a lot of people when it comes to skin. My face and body (like most people) get very dry when it starts to get cold outside.
So today I will share my top five current favorite skincare products for winter! Keep in mind that what works for me may not work for you, but I do happen to have very sensitive skin, so these products are all fairly gentle. You can click on the names to go to the product websites!
Ok so technically this one is a tool, but it’s my all-time favorite skincare tool. I use this all year round, but it works especially well in the winter for exfoliating the dry patches I tend to get on my cheeks and in the crevices in my nose. I use this brush with my favorite cleanser for one full cycle and afterwards, my skin feels so soft and refreshed. All of my products go on smoothly and I feel as if my face has gotten a nice deep-clean. I would highly recommend this brush! The best part is they have different brush heads for different skin needs!
Don’t let me in a Lush store, ok? There are just too many amazing products there! I’m addicted to their bath bombs and bubble bars, but last time I was there, an employee recommended this toner water to me; this is specifically formulated for mature, sensitive, and/or dry skin. In case you didn’t know, toner is applied after you cleanse to help restore the skin’s pH balance and prime for the rest of your skin routine. This toner is fabulous! It’s not drying and harsh like some toners can be and it’s very refreshing after a nice hot bubble bath. You just spritz your face a few times, let it dry, and you’re good to go!
When I started taking my anti-seizure medication, it broke me out terribly. My skin was riddled with dry, textured patches and areas of blackheads in addition to painful acne. Even when the acne would go away, I was left with dark spots where the bumps had been. This product really helped me with that issue. It has vitamin C in it, which helps the spots to fade. I definitely notice a difference in the intensity of the discoloration after using this product for about a week. You just dab it on the spots after applying toner. Hopefully this one works as well for you as it does for me!
This is actually a moisturizer that I would be comfortable recommending to all skin types! It’s definitely a nice, semi-thick cream, but it is not so incredibly over moisturizing that it would make my oily-skinned ladies stick up or break out. I am able to use this both as a day and night moisturizer, but being on the very dry side, I do tend to use a thicker night cream. But this product also is supposed to have anti-aging properties and you know it’s never too early to start thinking about preserving your skin!
I don’t know about you guys, but one of my worst problem areas, especially in winter, is my lips. I tend toward having chapped lips anyway, but the cold weather often makes them extremely dry and cracked. I have tried so many lip balms, and one of the only ones that has worked well for me is Jack Black balm. These lip balms are thick and soothing, but actually soak into your lips unlike some other balms that just hang out on top without moisturizing. I like to put this one on after my night skin routine and when I wake up so that any lip products I wear that day go on smoothly. Plus, they come in some really luscious flavors! My personal favorite is blackberry and black tea!
Well, I hope you enjoyed learning about my favorite winter skincare products and that you get to try some yourself! If you have any miracle products I should know about, comment below! I love new recommendations!
Thanks for reading!
Ok I’m ready to finish this off. Mostly because I’m really struggling lately, and it feels like I need to finish this off before discussing current struggles. Luckily, there’s not much more to it.
If you want to read the other parts, here are the links:
The severity of my eating disorder fluctuated throughout grad school and the year after. Sometimes I wouldn’t binge and purge for a week. Sometimes it was twice or three times a day. A lot of it depended on how much stress I was under at the time, and as we all know, graduate school is a hotbed of stress. My last year in school, my externship year, was especially difficult.
Every year that went by, I would think: next year, I’m not going to have this eating disorder. I’m going to be recovered.
But here’s the big secret.
You’re never really “recovered.”
You can be recovering. But once you have had an eating disorder, you have to be vigilant. Those urges are there. Almost four years later, they’re still there. I’ve had a good streak recently. It’s been a couple of months since I’ve given in to the urges.
But they’re stronger than EVER right now. I think there are a few reasons. One, I’ve gained about 30 pounds while trying to recover. Two, many of my clothes are not fitting because of the weight gain and that makes me feel uncomfortable. Three, my wedding is in less than a year and we all know the pressure women are under to look perfect on their wedding day.
Sometimes I feel like I’m losing it. I will be fine for about five minutes and the next thing I know, I’m breaking down and sobbing because I feel so fat. So ugly. So unlovable. Somewhere in me, I know it’s ridiculous. But I just can’t help it.
I’m going to be completely honest right now, I am actively trying to lose weight. Luckily I haven’t purged lately, but I am lowering my calories. My fiancé is not happy. But at this point, I feel like I can’t stand it. I can’t stand to be in this body the way it is for one more second. There are so many things that my ED tells me to hate about myself. The fact that I have a lower stomach area that pooches out. The fact that my thighs are stocky and rub together. The fact that I have cellulite on my legs. The fact that my hips are huge and uneven.
First world problems, I know.
Sorry that this post is such a downer. I just figured I would try to be real with you instead of acting like my life is all sunshine and rainbows. Don’t get me wrong, some of it is! And we will be back to that soon. I’m just having some difficulty right now, but hopefully it will pass. Until then, I will try to remember this:
So I hope you like this schedule of posting only a few times a week. I just don’t feel like I have enough going on to justify a daily posts, and this way the posts I do make will be longer and hopefully more interesting!
Anyway, let’s talk about yesterday. Our last half marathon/race of the season was scheduled to be the Santa Runs Tacoma race on December 10th. Initially I was very excited about this race. First of all, it’s a Christmas race, and you all know how I’m obsessed with Christmas. Second of all, this is the last race of three that we’ve done in the Tacoma series, and we get a special medal for completing it!
But after a week of checking the weather forecast (40 and raining) and overanalyzing how little running training I’ve done lately, I started feeling unsure.
We woke up on Saturday at 6:00 to eat and get dressed. For breakfast I had one packet of apples and cinnamon oatmeal and two spoonfuls of peanut butter. I’ll say right now, this was not enough food. I was starving by mile 3 on the racecourse, started getting fatigued way too early for my liking, and of course had failed to pack any fuel for the course. More on that later.
After we ate, we drove about a half hour to Tacoma and found a parking garage near the start. Andrew went and picked up our packets while I stood in line to pay for the parking.
We only had about fifteen minutes before the race started, plenty of time to use the restroom. Something great about this race was they had plenty of port-a-potties so the lines were very short!
There were lots of people dressed up in festive running outfits. Tutus, funny hats, even a few people in Christmas pajamas. Two Santas were bopping around and spreading Christmas cheer: one traditional Santa and one that was slightly more… colorful!
After a few more minutes of standing around in the cold, they started counting down to the start of the race! I felt the familiar jolt of nervous energy and we were off!
The first few miles of this race, I felt great. We were cruising along at a good pace (for me) and my legs were staying strong, which is a testament to all the strength training that we’ve been doing lately. However, I definitely have not been running enough and started to lose steam fairly quickly, which indicates a need to build my endurance back up.
We started out in downtown Tacoma. I didn’t take any pictures there because the scenery was fairly boring. At about mile five, we headed out down by the water, and had at least one nice view to one of our sides for the majority of the race.
When I got tired, we started doing what I call “intuitive intervals,” running and walking to certain landmarks based on how we [I] felt. At this point, I was STARVING! Luckily at around mile 8 they had a station with chia seed gels and I was able to take one on the way out and two on the way back for a burst of energy. We finally reached the turn-around of the out-and-back section around mile 9, and I incredibly happy to be heading back toward the finish line. I don’t think there’s any higher joy than seeing a turn-around during a race.
Around mile 11, I gave up on intervals all together and knew we would have to walk the rest of the race in. I was having foot and hip pain due to not having ran enough lately, and was getting some major chafing on my thighs. But once I saw mile 12, I knew that we were almost finished and I started speeding up towards the finish and that Christmas medal!
With Andrew’s encouragement, we ran [painfully jogged] it in! They even pronounced my name correctly as we came across the finish line! They handed us our sparkly medals and we started hobbling back up to our parked car. The race does not start and finish at the same point, so that is something to keep in mind if you want to run this one!
Our first priority after the race was food, and thankfully, there was a Pita Pit right across from the garage where we parked our car! We both snarfed down a pita and three collective bags of salt and vinegar chips! My pita had chicken breast, grilled mushrooms, pickles, olives, onions, spinach, feta, and balsamic vinaigrette. Yum!
After lunch, we got in the car and slowly drove home. That evening and the next day were filled with plenty of movie watching, food eating, and recliner sitting! All in all, I’m very happy that we went and completed the race. It was a good test for Disney in January and the medal is just adorable!
Well, I hope you guys all had a great weekend and have a good Monday!
I thought I’d do a mid-week check in with an overview of our workouts and dinners for this week, plus what I ate/am planning on eating today!
The only reason for the cardio before and after the half marathon is that we are in the middle of the 12 days of fitness challenge at the gym. You can only miss three days of the 15, and we have already missed one when we were in Seattle on Sunday.
Dinner meal plan:
This week’s dinner menu is filled with lots of easy meals and repeat recipes. I just haven’t had the time to look up a bunch of new clean eating recipes. Also, since cutting out most dairy, pasta, and rice, I’m going to have to search for some recipes that are more friendly to my diet right now.
Okay, on to what I ate Wednesday!
Breakfast: homemade granola with plain Chobani Greek yogurt and chopped apple [I have been obsessed with granola bowls lately. Homemade granola is so easy and delicious. Plus much healthier than the store bought version!]
Lunch: two hard boiled eggs, the leftover balsamic roasted Brussels sprouts, and an apple with Wild Friends honey peanut butter [random assortment of things, I know. I was going to make chicken to put on a salad and completely spaced. I have also been very obsessed with nut butters! Wild friends make some very delicious choices with no refined sugars!]
Dinner: spaghetti squash with marinara sauce and shrimp, side salad [we had this meal last week and I bought another spaghetti squash because it was so good. It’s also an awesome substitute since I cut out pasta!]
So there are our plans for the week and my meals for the day! If you’re ever interested in following my nutrition and seeing some pictures, you can look for me on instagram at milaheartothere. Have a great Wednesday everyone!!
How was everyone’s weekend? Mine was great! On Saturday, we watched Alabama crush Florida and then celebrated a Wildcat Basketball Victory over Alaska!
Sunday was the real highlight of the weekend, though. We headed into Seattle mid-morning, as we had tickets to see The Little Mermaid Broadway musical at the 5th Avenue Theatre.
The trip over was so beautiful. It has begun to snow on the pass, so all the mountains and trees looked like a winter wonderland.
Isn’t it gorgeous? I swear we are so lucky to live in the Pacific Northwest. It captures my heart every day.
When we got to Seattle, we knew we needed something healthy and yummy to get us through the musical! I scoped out the options on Google Maps and we chose the Veggie Grill, a vegan place with good reviews and only three blocks from the theatre!
Honestly, the whole menu looked scrumptious and is going to warrant a return trip to try more of the menu. Andrew got the Seoul Bowl, which was very good, but my meal was my favorite! I chose the Crispy Grains and Greens Salad:
Crispy + warm supergrains, romaine, cabbage, organic crispy tofu, pickled onion, avocado, carrots, almonds, mint, basil + Thai dressing (from the website)
This salad was an absolutely perfect hunger-buster! The protein from the tofu and almonds plus the healthy fat from the avocado gave it some major staying power. The greens were fresh and the grains were crispy. The tofu was a delicious treat that even Andrew liked! Plus anything with Asian flavors is good in my book.
After lunch, it was time to go see the musical! It was wonderful and I would recommend it to anyone, especially people who are unsure about musicals. The familiar storyline, colorful sets, and amazing music make it fun for all! Andrew and I both enjoyed it.
Note that I got into the spirit with my color choices as well: purple top and green pants! The red hair is… incidental.
We got out around 4:30 and decided to take advantage of being in the city and eat dinner before we left. I had Yelp-ed places before we came, so we headed to Chaco Canyon Organic Cafe.
The place was packed and just kept getting busier the longer we were there. This cafe was in the University District and seems to be a popular study/hangout for many students. I ordered a jasmine green tea and we were lucky to get a table!
Chaco Canyon makes food that is vegan and locally sourced. I was vegan for a time and anytime I can get good vegan food, it makes me feel great!
It was a bit of a wait for food, but considering how busy they were and how good the reviews were, we figured it was worth it. And was it ever!
Andrew got the lentil burger with a side of coconut milk soup and I chose the tofu bahn mi sandwich with a side house salad.
Look at how amazing and fresh that food looks! Well, it tasted even better. The side salad was a nice, tasty accompaniment, but the real star was the sandwich. The bread was fresh and crunchy, there was the perfect amount of a delicious pesto-like sauce, the veggies were crisp, and the tofu was sumptuous. Andrew agreed that the flavors melded together perfectly!
Tired from a day of driving, dining, and entertainment, we got in the car and headed home. I would say our Sunday in the city was a great success!
If you get the chance to eat at the Veggie Grill or Chaco Canyon, you won’t be disappointed! Even non-vegans like myself and my fiancé love their food!
I hope your weekend was as good as mine and that you have a great Monday!
I just want to say thank you.
Thank you to the man who put the ring on my finger
To the man who is unwaveringly kind
The man who gets me flowers for no reason
The man who isn’t afraid to be silly with me
The man who not only indulges my passions…
But shares them
The man who loves my pets as much as I do
The man who will cook for me…
And paint with me…
And take me to the zoo
Thank you to the man who supports me through all my struggles
But most of all, thank you to the man who has spent the last 13 months enriching my life, making me laugh, and loving me unconditionally. And the man who I can’t wait to marry next September. I love you so much.
Popping in for a What I Ate (or am going to eat!) Wednesday post. I also have a bit of heavy stuff to get off my chest but let’s start with the fun bit!
Breakfast: Homemade granola with a dollop of plain Greek yogurt, chopped apples, and a drizzle of honey.
This was good, y’all. We made the granola this weekend because I love granola and the storebought has endless amounts of sugar. We basically took three cups of rolled oats, a cup of chopped almonds, two tablespoons of canola oil, a half a cup of honey, and a teaspoon of vanilla. Toasted the dry ingredients, mixed the wet ingredients in, spread it on a baking sheet, and baked it in a 350 degree oven for 10 minutes. So good and so easy. We’re almost out now, so I will be doing it again this weekend!
Lunch: Almond butter and banana sandwich on wheat bread. Side kale and Brussels sprout salad with feta and balsamic vinegarette.
Ok, kind of a random mix of ingredients. Truth is, we need to go to the grocery store tonight. I swear, we make like three grocery store trips a week. That’s just how we roll.
Dinner: Homemade ricotta pesto over wheat linguine. Leftover spinach and goat cheese stuffed chicken.
Im super excited to try this ricotta pesto recipe. Pesto is one of my favorite ways to top pasta and homemade is always the best! We made the chicken for dinner last night and it was delicious. Here’s the recipe: http://www.simplehealthykitchen.com/spinach-goat-cheese-hasselbeck-chicken
Do you see a recurring food group in my meals? They’re pretty heavy on dairy. Not that there’s anything wrong with dairy, but I feel like I’ve been relying on it too heavily to complete my meals. So starting tomorrow, Andrew and I are going to try and cut back on/cut out dairy. It’s going to be hard, but it’s wonderful that there are now so many non-dairy options, even at places like Starbucks. I hope that reducing dairy will also settle some of my stomach issues that I have been having lately.
Ok on to the real talk. I’ve been struggling with body image lately, guys. I know that on blogs and instagram and Facebook, people tend to only see the best side of people’s lives. The happy parts, the clean eating, the working out, the positivity.
But there are always things going on behind the scenes. Because I am recovering from an eating disorder, I know that as healthy as my meals are, I have definitely gained weight. That’s what happens when you purge your food for two and a half years and royally screw up your metabolism.
I’m trying to make myself ok with everything. I am working on seeing myself in a different light and crafting a body that is strong, not skinny. But when you have been bombarded with people, magazines, movies, etc, your whole life that tells you weight=worth, that is incredibly difficult.
My first instinct is to put myself down. I constantly catch myself looking in mirrors at the gym and frowning, pinching my hips, hiding my stomach with my arms. Luckily I have an incredibly supportive and wonderful fiancé. He knows the struggles I have been through and he is so patient with my self deprecating behavior. He constantly reassures me that I look beautiful, that he loves me the way I am, that he will never leave me, that I am becoming healthy and strong.
With his help, I will kick this ED’s ass. And I will become the strong, positive person I have always wanted to be.